Suicide Support

---

Suicidal behaviour is complex, and while not all suicide deaths can be prevented, early intervention can prevent many suicide deaths. When at risk of suicide, someone may display various behaviours and experience various emotions. 

Warning signs of suicidal thoughts include: 

• looking for ways to hurt or kill oneself, or self-harm 
• talking and writing about suicide or death 
• feelings of hopelessness 
• expressing rage, anger or revenge 
• engaging in reckless or risky behaviours 
• previous suicide attempts or self-harming 
• increased use of drugs and alcohol 
• withdrawing from friends and families 
• quitting activities that were previously important or not doing things they used to enjoy 
• putting affairs in order, e.g. giving away possessions, especially those that have special significance for the person 
• anxiety or agitation 
• abnormal sleep patterns 
• dramatic changes in mood, such as sudden feelings of happiness after a long period of sadness, or depression 
• writing a suicide note or goodbye letters to people. 
• Hints they're thinking about suicide such as “I’d like to go to sleep and never wake up” 
• Talking about feeling worthless, hopeless, alone, being a burden to others or having no reason to live 
• Talking about death or suicide (even in a joking way) 
• Posting about death, dying, suicide, self-harm, ‘kms’, and ‘unalive myself’ etc., on social media 
• Increased drug or alcohol use or other risky behaviours 
• Having the means to end their life such as medication or weapons 

Suicide can seem like the only way out of a situation or the negative feelings that someone is experiencing. Often an individual is not looking to end their life, rather they are looking to end psychological pain. 

There are many reasons why someone considers suicide, such as: 

• an argument with a loved one or significant person 
• the breakdown of a relationship 
• the suicide of a family member, friend or public role model 
• the onset or recurrence of a mental or physical illness 
• unexpected changes in life circumstances 
• unemployment 
• financial or legal problems 
• a traumatic life event (for example abuse, bullying or violence 

The best prevention is communication. If a person is actively suicidal, talking openly and working together on the next steps really helps them to stay safe. 

Here’s some suggestions of what you can say and do: 

• It’s ok (and encouraged) to use the word, “Suicide”. If you’re unsure, you can and should ask, “Are you feeling suicidal?” Using the word suicide will not ‘put ideas in their head’ - and it gives them ‘permission’ to be open and honest about how they feel, without fearing your reaction. 
• Manage your own feelings. Finding out someone is suicidal is a lot – and it’s normal to feel a range of emotions. Your feelings are valid and real – and you deserve care and support too. It’s ok to take some time to process. You want to be calm and supportive in what you say and do.  
• Get professional support through a GP, psychologist or counsellor as soon as possible. There are 24/7 crisis services you can call 
• If you think they’re unsafe, remove anything they may use to harm themselves and don’t leave them by themselves. You might create a safety plan to buy some time to get professional support, e.g. “If you think you might hurt yourself, can you tell me before doing it?” Listen to them without judgement. Be curious and ask open questions, e.g. “What’s been going on?”; “You’re not in trouble. Can we talk about what’s been happening for you? I’d like to understand and support you.” 
• Show them that you care and they're not alone with this – and that you’ll get through it together. “I’m glad you told me about this. I love you – let's talk about what to do next because you deserve to feel better.” 
• It’s ok if you’re not sure what to do next. Ask your them what they would like to happen and support them to explore options for professional supports and next steps. You can make a plan together. 
• Express your concern, e.g. “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed really down lately, and I’m worried about you.” 

When someone feels suicidal, they are feeling intense, overwhelming, negative emotions and distress – they need care and kindness, not judgement. 

It’s normal to feel shocked, disbelief, anger, and a whole range of emotions when you find out someone you care about is suicidal. It’s important to respond rather than react (which is much easier said than done!) 

• Don't dismiss or minimise - Dismissing (e.g. "Don't be silly - you're not suicidal!" or minimising (e.g. "Oh please, you've got a good life, you're just doing this for attention") an individuals thoughts, feelings and experience can make them shut down. 
• Don’t make it about you or other people - Saying things like, "How would I feel if you kill yourself?" might be well intentioned (trying and show them how much losing them would hurt you), but it won’t have the desired effect. Research has shown that when people are distressed, it can hamper their ability to have empathy for others. When people are suicidal, they often feel like a burden, and making them feel guilty about being suicidal can even increase the chances they might try to end their life. 
• Don't do nothing - This is the most important don't. Don't ignore it and hope it goes away. Your loved one needs immediate support. If you’ve reacted emotionally or said something you regret in the heat of the moment – it’s not too late to apologise and respond with care and compassion. All relationships have rupture and repair – and it’s the repair that counts the most.